Foolish

I speak the words aloud,

but softly, softly

into the empty room

this litany of unspeakable things

and watch them swirl 

through the open door

and muddy the late afternoon light.

Outside, a thin boy in a bright blue shirt

lights up a smoke, while his companion

cuffs him gently on the shoulder-

earning a smile- unrepentant,

his happiness uncomplicated-

no shadows for him, I think,

envy coiling green through my veins,

until the skies open in a sudden downpour

squelching his cigarette, 

and leaving me to laugh

at falling for the most obvious,
made foolish by a trick of the light.